New Years Eve - One Liners
I raised my left leg before the ball dropped so I could
start the New Year off on the right foot.
New Years Eve is the only acceptable time to wear body glitter
without being mistaken for a stripper.
Dear God, my prayer for 2019 is a FAT bank account and a THIN body.
Please don't mix it up like you did this year.
Many things can be preserved in alcohol this New Years Eve.
DIGNITY is not one of them.
Just heard that in 2019 there will be a new device that can turn
thoughts into speech. - I have had that for years, - It's called alcohol.
May all your troubles last as long as your New Years resolutions.New Years Eve Short Jokes
What happened to the Irish man who thought about the
evils of drinking in the New Year? - He gave up thinking.
What's the problem with jogging on New Years Eve?
The ice falls out of your drinks!
New Years Eve forecast:-
Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out. New Years Resolutions You Have No Chance At Keeping
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL, LMAO, or ROTFLMAO!"
Start using Facebook for something other than Farmville and stupid quizzes
I will stop using - So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line.
Spend less than $1000 for coffee at Starbucks this year.
I will stop tagging pictures of myself in pictures even when I'm not in them