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Author Topic: Visitors and Guests - Samples  (Read 751 times)

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Offline Carl

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Visitors and Guests - Samples
« on: August 19, 2017, 05:00:19 PM »
Three Nuns

Three nuns passed every day through a street that led them from Church to a Reformatory.
They noticed a parrot that stood at the entrance of a big residential house.

Every time they passed in front of that house, the bird would pronounce three sequential colors.

One day, they heard, "Yellow, blue, black."
One of the nuns noticed that those colors perfectly matched the colors of their underwear.

She mentioned her discovery to the other two nuns, but both were couldn't believe
that could be possible.

The next day, they all wore black underwear and passed in front of the house,
and very precisely the parrot spoke, "Black, black, black."

Hearing that, the three nuns were astonished.

One of the nuns spoke up, "Girls, tomorrow we are going to trick that bird.

" After saying that, she recommended that the next day, none of them should
be wearing any underwear under their vestments.
 
Respecting their agreement, the next day they wore no underwear, and proceeded to pass
in front of the parrot's house.

They peeked at the bird. At the beginning, the parrot looked a bit puzzled.
He swung back and forth on the cane he was perched on.

Then, after a while, the Parrot spoke, "Straight, Straight, Curly!"
   GIDDAY !!!

Offline Carl

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Re: Visitor and Guest Samples
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2017, 05:11:40 PM »
What are these used for?

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, 
picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to
the checkout counter.

The pharmacist at the counter asked the
older boy,
"Son, how old are you?”

“Eight”, the boy replied.

The man continued,
“Do you know  ?”

The boy replied,
“Not exactly, but they aren't for me.

They're for him. He's my brother. He's four."

"Oh, really?"
the pharmacist replied with a grin.

"Yes" the boy said. 
"We saw on TV that if you use these,
you would be able to play golf, swim,
play tennis and ride a bike...
.
.
.
Right now, he can't do none of that.”
   GIDDAY !!!

Offline Carl

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Re: Visitor and Guest Samples
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2017, 05:14:12 PM »
Black Death

An elderly parish priest was tending his garden near a convent when a passerby
 stopped to inquire after the priest's much-loved roses.

"Not bad," said the priest, "but they suffer from a disease peculiar to this area
known as the black death."

"What on earth is that?" asked the passerby, anxious to increase his garden knowledge.

.
.

"Nuns with scissors."
   GIDDAY !!!

Offline Carl

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Re: Visitor and Guest Samples
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2017, 05:16:12 PM »
Blondes car breaks down

A blonde's car breaks down on Interstate 5 one day.
She eases it over onto the shoulder of the road.
She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.

Out of the trunk jump two men in trench coats, who walk to the rear of the
vehicle where they stand facing oncoming traffic, and begin opening their coats
exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers...

Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups in the history of this Interstate occurs.

It's not very long before a police car shows up.

The cop, clearly enraged, runs toward the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling,
"What the hell is going on here?"
"My car broke down," says the lady, calmly.

"Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?" asks the cop.
.
.
.
She explained to the cop..."Those are my emergency flashers!"
   GIDDAY !!!

Offline Carl

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Re: Visitor and Guest Samples
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2017, 05:18:01 PM »
Disasters

No one teaches a Volcano how to Erupt....



 
No one teaches a Tsunami how to Rise...




No one teaches a Hurricane how to Sway...




No one teaches a MAN or a WOMAN how to
choose a WIFE or HUSBAND!!!!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Natural Disasters Just Happen...
   GIDDAY !!!

Offline Carl

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Re: Visitor and Guest Samples
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2017, 05:20:30 PM »
How to get rid of them



Yep .. That will work.
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Offline Carl

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Re: Visitor and Guest Samples
« Reply #6 on: August 19, 2017, 05:22:47 PM »
Senior citizens at the bowling club

Oldie,  but a goodie.

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Offline Carl

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Re: Visitor and Guest Samples
« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2017, 05:24:38 PM »
Classic Woman Driver

Women Drivers

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